4.25.2006
grownups r us
In a surprisingly satisfying Wall Street Journal review (subs. req'd) of the new Caitlin Flanagan book everyone loves to hate, this statement brought me up short:
Ms. Flanagan's most famous phrase to date is "When a mother works, something is lost." The feminists she disdains are enraged by that truth, so evident to the rest of us. (emphasis added)
I suppose that this might sound like a simple, "evident" fact, but on closer scrutiny it is anything but. When a mother doesn't work, many things might be "lost": money, for one thing, something that doesn't seem to be an issue for Flanagan, who is a stay-at-homer with a nanny to boot. Not to mention self-esteem, identity, etc. (some might add that you can lose your mind...). And when a mother works, yes, there are sacrifices to be made, or at least major adjustments. In other words, either way, "something is lost"--that is the price of being an adult. We make the best choices we can, and we learn that we can never achieve perfection, can never live the ideal. Yes, this means that there is no one right way to do motherhood--and that is a very, very good thing.
Ms. Flanagan's most famous phrase to date is "When a mother works, something is lost." The feminists she disdains are enraged by that truth, so evident to the rest of us. (emphasis added)
I suppose that this might sound like a simple, "evident" fact, but on closer scrutiny it is anything but. When a mother doesn't work, many things might be "lost": money, for one thing, something that doesn't seem to be an issue for Flanagan, who is a stay-at-homer with a nanny to boot. Not to mention self-esteem, identity, etc. (some might add that you can lose your mind...). And when a mother works, yes, there are sacrifices to be made, or at least major adjustments. In other words, either way, "something is lost"--that is the price of being an adult. We make the best choices we can, and we learn that we can never achieve perfection, can never live the ideal. Yes, this means that there is no one right way to do motherhood--and that is a very, very good thing.
